La vie.

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing"

- Agatha Christie.

In life, we are handed cards. And like a real game of cards, not every hand will be a perfect Royal Flush, but after several rounds, you lose. You're miserable. But guess what happens? You're dealt another hand and this time, you could be lucky.

In certain aspects, life is nothing but chance. But in the other hand, you can't sit back and think 'You know what? I'm going to wait for life to come and find me", because, as lovely and great life is, it doesn't give two shits about you. It's not going to come looking for you. Because life doesn't exist outside your own thoughts. It's up to you too live. à chacun son destin. To each their own destiny. You don't get in the car and say to yourself "I'm just going to sit here and wait for the car to drive me to the shops" and if you do do that, then you're a fool.

In life, if you want to advance, if you want to move forward, you have to work. You have to go looking for your adventures, you have to seach for your loves, for your fortunes. Because everything good has to be looked for. But everything bad will undoubtedly find you, because good and evil balance eachother out. But once we learn that, no-one is going to go looking for death or misfortune. So, no matter who you are, it'll find you and it will give you depressions. It will break your spirit. But, you have to remember who and how you were before it found you. You have to think to yourself, "Why should I let sadness and misery ruin my life when I can get up and find myself an adventure?". Because in our sadness, we pull the strength to find our happiness, because everyone remembers a time in their lives when they were sad. And you know that you wouldn't go back there if you had a choice, so you pull from your sad moments, the happy ones.

So as much pain as life will cause you, don't always try to forget it, or always avoid it. When it comes, live it, learn from it, and remember it, even though it hurts. Because that's what will inspire you to find your next moment of happiness, when you remember how horrible it was too feel like you did during your moments of sadness.

Qu'est-ce qui nous attire tant dans le malheur des autres? Qu'est-ce que cette avidité pour la cicatrice, les plaies? Et cette rage contre ceux qui veulent les lécher à l'abri des regards?

waaah

So, I'm going home a little earlier than expected.. It's weird to think that after living here for 8 months there is still something else waiting for me... For me, it feels like I just pushed the pause button on my life in Yass and I'm going to go back and it's just going to keep playing without interruption. But I know that's not true, and I know everyone has changed. Whether for the better or for the worse, I still don't know. But I know that this was one of the more extreme ways to discover who are my real friends. The ones who pushed pause on my part in their lives so that when I come back, they can just push play again and allow me back into their new lives, without interruption.

L-L-LOOVEEEeee

My Opinions On Love.. (in Analogy form, bien sûr)

Love is like a rose. You have to start from the beginning, and watch it grow. You have to water it and feed it and care for it. Then, you watch, as it transforms for a budding flower into a blossomed rose. And, when the moment feels right, you reach out and pick it from the stem. But, no matter which way you hold the rose, you'll always feel the little prick of the thorns, sticking into your hand. But, do you throw the rose away because you were foolish enough to let it prick you? No. You hold on tight and you don't throw it away, because at the end of the day, your wounds heal, and the rose is still a rose. A beautiful, ever blossoming rose.

time

I used to think, "why does time pass by me so fast? I feel like everything's changing and I don't have a chance to slow down", but upon reflection, I realised that it's me that does all the moving. Time stands still. Time is nothing. Time is a mechanical clock that has hands that move or an electronic number that flips over from 23.59 to 00.00. Nothing I do will slow time down because it doesn't move. I do. Literally. Every breath, every move is me moving further into time, deeper and deeper into my future. Time only seems like it's passing fast when we set a date. Like, the 14th of January. When I come home. I feel like because I only have 5 months and 24 days left, that time has passed so fast. But, when I think back about everything I've done, I say to myself, "Shit, I did all that in only 6 months?". I semi-learned another language, I made and lost some of my best friends, I learned to be me and make others accept or reject me for me, and I realised the true value of relationships. The people who I took for granted. The people I've realised no matter how hard I push away, how long I'm not there for, they'll still eagerly await my return. My family. I don't need to say "My family" and "My friends", because if they're the friends I've realised I truly need, the words "family" and "friend" are one in the same.

Newie Notice

It happened so fast, me being in Australia, speaking to people who were already here, and now, already, that's me. Speaking to the newies, eagerly anticipating their arrival.

Watching how excited they are to be coming, and seeing them flounder around, worrying about visa'a and Rotary travel packs makes me see how fast time goes while you're here. It's almost like you move into another universe, where time moves strangely irregularly, and things you always worried about often don't matter so much. You come here because you choose too, you choose who'll you be on exchange, the side of you that you'll show to everyone else. No-one here knows anything about you and it's up to who you want to be portrayed as. Your exchange will only hand out what you put in.

Personally, three very important things I find here on exchange all begin with F. Hence, my three 'F's':

1. Learning FRENCH. You're not just going to be able to speak if you dont try. You have to really work at it, no matter if you "already speak french" there is a good chance being in a native speaking French country will double your french skills.
2. Making FRIENDS. Exchange friends are reasonably easy to come by. People are here for the same reasons and are just as eager to make friends. As for Belgians, them you'll have to work a little harder to get. Really, they lose nothing by not becoming your friend and leaving their comfort zone and working to become your friend. You, on the other hand, lose out on an important cultural part of your exchange. AND;
3. Your FAMILY. You're not always going to be a perfect macth but they did open their home for you and made your exchange possible so you have to work to work it out. 90% of the time your family will help you achieve the other two 'F's' and it'll make your exchange so much better if you make an effort to be part of the family.

Our lives are lived inbetween the fast lane and the slow lane. Times will be slow, when you're at school, when you're doing nothing, but when it's fast, it flies by like a car going way to fast. A blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of thing. You have to keep your eyes open for oppurtunities.

My parting words are these final words:

• Come with few expectations but a VERY open mind. No two exchanges will be the same. EVER, so 99% of the things in my stories will be different to what you saw from the same thing we did together or something completely different. Each experience is different.
• Be prepared for a hard year. As much fun as we have, it is a hard year away from your friends and family. When you come here, you know no-one. That can be could, but it is also very difficult to find the surface and learn to swim after you've been thrown into the deep end of the pool. Make sure you are prepared emotionally.
• Get ready for a wild, fun, friend filled, crazy, wild and unexplainable year. You'll forever have stories only your exchange friends will understand and you'll form a strong bond with the friends you make here, having gone through such amazing experiences together. If you're prepared to work, this year is honestly going to be one of the best years, and you will forever remember it, be telling stories to your grandchildren who'll never believe that Nan was that cool.

Rotary Youth Internation Exchange Program

Upon reflexion, coming on exchange was the most stupid, reckless, impulsive idea I've had, but also the best. The people I've met, the friends I've made, not to mention the second language I'm learning amongst everything new is amazing, and I would never have made a different decision if I was granted the chance to go back. Being so young for exchange, to leave home and begin anew somewhere else, was a crazy chance. How was I to know if I was ready, if I my young, impulsive, fickle ways would work anywhere outside of my comfort zone? I didn't know. And having that has made me realise what kind of person I want to be, the kind of person I'm trying to become. I want to be reckless and ruthless my life, I don't want to be tied down with information I'll never use, and things I'll never need. I want hands on life experience. Important things. Like another language, friends in countries where I can visit and see how they live. I want to see the world, and if it's true that your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die, I want mine to be a vibrant re-make of a crazy, reckless, ruthless, exhuberant life that'll make it all seem worth it, not a bland vision that's as predictable as an episode of Gossip Girl. Life is meant to be a challenge, one hurdle after another, so why not let it be like that instead of taking away the hurdles and just running around in circles?

"Je vis ma vie comme ça"